If I Were My Mother I’d Tell Myself…

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING, 

ALL OF THE TIME!  

Now that I'm older and I have a family of my own I find myself thinking, "How did Mom do it?"  For those of you that know my mom she is involved in EVERYTHING!  She is on committees like they're going out of style.  Whether it is on a committee for a community event, booking a show or planning a reunion, my mom is involved in every aspect of everything.  Please don't get me wrong or misinterpret this blog.  I"m in no way saying that what my mom does is wrong.  I truly appreciate the "busyness" that is associated with all of these events.  I've just realized that my life doesn't have to be all of that, all of the time!

Growing up we were involved in so many activities, festivals, shows, parties, reunions, etc.  I'm pretty sure we (me and my siblings) were involved because we had to be.  I am thankful for all of these happenings because they've truly helped me in my life.  Following mom has been a blessing because I've learned how to carry myself, express my feelings, take notes, make checklists, follow through with plans, etc.  All of these things have made me a better wife, mother, leader, planner and organizer.  I've learned to pay attention to detail and most importantly TO DEPEND ON THE LORD!  But...

I've also learned that I prefer being at home and just being with my family.  I know that may sound weird in some way but I enjoy NOT having to go to everything.  I like choosing which functions I can and can't attend.  I've realized that when it comes to choosing between paying a bill or giving money for a family function/fa'alavelave/kavenga that I don't feel guilty for paying for my bill.  I"m content with having birthday parties for just 40 people and not 340!  I don't feel obligated to attend EVERYTHING because I can't.

Wow!  Now that I've reread that last paragraph I feel like I'm okay with being antisocial. LOL! But...OH WELL!  I KNOW that my family is my first priority and that's something that I've really struggled with.  Being Polynesian is definitely a blessing but there are some downfalls.  Let's be honest....family functions every week get a little overwhelming.  Some people may enjoy all of the events that you could attend in one weekend here in Salt Lake City, Utah, (you know this is true...there is always a wedding, birthday, funeral, etc) but I've realized that I'm not one of those people!

I'd rather be

I'm thankful to my mom for the strong woman that she is and for always holding it down.  She is truly the backbone of our family.  I know that some people may think that I'm "ta'e ofa" or as Samoans would say "E le lava le alofa".  Truth is this...I love my extended family but I NEED to focus on my little family.  I will serve others, I will continue to help WHEN I CAN, I will attend what I need to attend and I will be there for those that REALLY need me!  

My grandpa Fuifatu Fau'olo always said that in the Polynesian culture our insurance policy is our family.  They are the only ones that are there for us in times of need and struggle.  I know that is true but I'm willing to pay my monthly insurance policy if it'll allow me the family time I so desperately want and need! My family (parents, siblings, grandmas, aunts, uncles and cousins) knows I love them and that I'd do anything for them BUT I need to make sure that Will, Pili and LaVona are my first priority! 

And I'm alright with that.