Monday, October 13, 2008

What to do...

So I've been thinking about all that's been going on in my life the last couple of weeks or so and I've come to the conclusion that I'm under a ton of stress. Now, I understand that there are certain situations that I can't control, but then again, there are those that I can! I, like many of you, have many things going on in my life and trying to prioritize isn't the easiest thing. For me, here's the order that I set my priorities: God, Family, and Everything else!

I've come to the conclusion that the reason my life is so chaotic is because I've lost perspective of my first priority. I'm not paying as much attention to my calling at church, I've been slacking on my personal scripture study, etc. I understand that if I were to focus more on GOD/religion that maybe things wouldn't seem so hard. BUT WHY IS IT THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THE ONE THING I TEND TO NEGLECT? I consider myself an active member of the LDS church, but often times I forget what it is I'm really trying to accomplish here.

The gospel of Jesus Christ has played such a big and important part in my life that I feel like such a failure at times because I'm not doing all I can do. My Father in Heaven has blessed me so much that I feel like I've let him down. He has put so much trust in me and has shown me time and time again that he loves me. Why can't I reciprocate that love? Am I a bad person for not giving Him my undivided attention? Am I selfish for thinking that I'll enjoy life now and when problems arise, then I'll turn to him? No. I'm not a bad person, I'm just human.

Now I'm not trying to justify my actions, or lack thereof, I'm just saying that Heavenly Father knows that we'll make mistakes and he knows that well "slack off" every now and again. But at the same time, our Heavenly Father loves us and he'll always accept us for who we are. He knows that we're far from perfect and that in order for us to grow and learn in this life, we'll mess up and then we'll pick ourselves up and move on.

So, why is my life so stressful? Because I've lost focus on what's most important and what should be my number one priority, GOD! That's what I'll work on this week and I'll do it one day at a time. I'll try to put the focus back where it needs to be so that things will work out the way they're suppose to. Sure the stress will be there, but at least I'll be able to handle it!